Most people believe that living with love is the most idealistic way to live life. Posters about coexistence, the peace sign, LGBT marches all point to a visionary utopia called love. All these symbols have made love into something completely positive and good. However, I want to point out that love could equally be as dangerous as it is good. Some people out of love go and commit acts that society calls immoral, atrocious or evil. Perhaps it’s not the actual concept of love that is immoral but the placement of love that is immoral. A mother showing her great love for her kids by working day and night to provide food on the table would be considered amazing and admirable. On the other hand, a criminal charged for murder because he loves to kill and hunt would be considered as insane and psychotic. Even those who cast judgement about what kind of love is immoral or moral is similarly deemed hypercritical and narrow-minded.
Is it a criminal’s fault for loving an illegal activity that society naturally condemns? After all, murder in other societies is considered okay. Or is the fault on those who choose to condemn rather than to help rehabilitate? One of the greatest issues I see in church is that people claim that they love one another when they encourage other people in their church with open arms and gentleness. However, when people outside of church come as fellow people they are met with hostility and judgement. Selectively loving people does not equate to being a loving person. When you see someone bullying another person do you rush to help the victim or do you become a passive bystander who watches the scene unfold? When you see a death row inmate do you hope that he or she turns away from prior attitudes and beliefs in an attempt to be an outstanding individual? Or do you simply write the person off by saying he or she deserved it? I believe that loving people based on my own principles is immoral. Not only do I immediately cast judgment on someone’s character but I reinforce the idea, “he or she isn’t worthy of me.”
I personally can claim that I love select people and thus I cannot confidentally say that I’m a loving person. I have people who I hate, people who I hold grudges against. To call myself loving would be a lie filled with hypocrisy. Church, there is a reason why the people outside your walls don’t like you. It’s because you claim to be loving when in reality you only selectively love who resonate with your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes. Since when was it okay to only cry for a fellow Christan but not a fellow human? Why is it that you encourage those in the church so easily but cannot go on the streets to say, “I love you” to a homeless person or a random stranger? This is not just a knock on the church but is an open challenge to any person who claims to be loving and preaches about what love is. To be frank, all the movements in America today is not out of love but out of general hatred for a specific group of people. We have walked our way back to discriminatory America by separating certain interest groups based on where we place love. If you don’t love the church, then leave. If you don’t love the LGBT community, then leave. If you don’t love the women’s activist group, then leave. I know that I’m bringing up a lot of touchy subjects and I apologize in advance if any reader gets offended but the truth is the brutal truth.
The problem is not because of love itself but where the concept of love was born. True love is a real thing, a fantastic experience, an action, an attitude and belief but the love that we have been encouraging is a love built on the foundations of human morality (which is problematic because human morality is relative to the individual person). Love, not conceptual love, exists but we as a nation, as a race still need to discover it. Science claims that space is the final frontier for humanity but I have to respectfully disagree. I believe that love is the final and most important frontier. Do I claim that I know what the answer to true love is? Hell no. What I am saying is that every time I was a receiver of someone else’s selective, conceptual love it was amazing. The primary daily, selective experience I receive is from my girlfriend and it is one of the greatest gifts I receive on a daily basis (I love it as much as I love the air) and I make sure to reciprocate. If a conceptual, selective love is already so amazing and fulfilling how much more will true love be?
“Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.” – C.S. Lewis